I was once asked, "Why would you endure so much in your life and not reach out to help those who are enduring the same things?"  I replied, "Because I don't know how to explain to people, how I endured them."  This friend of mine looked at me blankly, and said, "Well, neither do I, so I guess you wait until you can." 

  This was a beautiful start to a lasting relationship with myself.  I had no idea, the reason I couldn't explain it, was because I didn't even know the true reason myself.  In my attempt to be open and honest about my flaws and my mistakes in life, I began realizing that as someone who always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, I, yes me, could totally be the right person for the job!

  I used to see my life as a box full of fortunes and misfortunes, which I was either solely responsible for, or not responsible for at all.  This enabled me to be extreme about it and consider myself CONQUEROR! or VICTIM!, depending on the incident.  What I didn't acknowledge, was that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't going through these things to make me stronger and powerful within myself, but instead a soldier of glory. 

  I used to wake up every morning, look at myself in the mirror and say, "Who are you Angela? Who are you, really?"  I was searching for who I was inside by looking at myself outside.  I saw flaws that I hated about myself and features that I barely liked about myself, none of which, really explained who I was.  Now, when I wake up in the morning, I say, "Wow, I must have slept on the same side all night, by the sight of that cockatoo hairdo!" Don't get me wrong, there are times I catch a glance of myself and say, "Do you still know where you're going?" But the mind stopping moments of trying to find myself, searching desperately for just an inkling of direction are over.

  The reason is this... I am not the same person as I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or even 5 days ago.  Just because I'm no longer advancing in the stages from toddler to adult, doesn't mean I am no longer advancing in who I am.  Sure, there are days that seem to run together, rest periods, some call them, but I am still growing where it counts. I'm not talking love handles here!  I'm talking about the good, deep down, get your hands in it, life! 

  Listen, you can't hate who you were, if you are not that person anymore, right?  There is a new life waiting for you.  YOU just have to be willing to take it.  No matter what... once you can surrender to that thought, you can handle the rest. 

  I'm inviting you join me in seeing life as I believe it was meant to be seen.  Realistically, honestly, magnified and glorified. Join me in celebrating the special things, good or bad, big and small. 

I would never have imagined... yet here it is... seeing each day like this...

In All My Life...