Let's consider a more positive beginning, shall we? Let's say you start out your morning, rested, and rejuvenated. Everything is in order, you remembered to set the timer on the coffee pot, all the bags were packed and set near the front door before it was even time to read your little darlings their bedtime story. To top it all off, upon opening your eyes, you notice the sun is gleaming through the window as if an angel is kissing your special morning, where family memories and life time accomplishments are about to be reached... You are going to Disneyland!
You slip from your bed standing... stretching... smiling... and hear little footsteps running anxiously down the hall. You brace yourself for the little tike's leap into your arms, when suddenly you realize these bare feet are actually running for the bathroom, and your little darling just missed the toilet as she threw up last nights dinner. I said positive beginning, not ending.
How is it that these uncontrollable moments can be seen as such an attack on us personally? It's the "why me?" of parenthood. "Why today?" "Why now?" "Why? Why? Why!" "Why did I even bother trying to do this?" What is the reason we suddenly feel all our hard work and efforts in preparing for the next day are dashed away when things don't go smoothly in the morning?
While most of us do not wake up with smooth hair, perfectly pinked cheeks and glistening eyes, like the coffee commercials on T.V. we somehow have tried to envision our mornings such as these. Gliding down the stairs, taking a deep breath of the fresh morning air as we take that first sip of life. While these mornings can happen, and I absolutely cherish these mornings, it is not reality to expect it to happen every day. Sometimes we just need to be satisfied with the imperfections in our life to really appreciate the beauty of it.
For an example, I woke up the other morning and my hair was anything BUT beautiful, I had sleep in my eyes, a white line coming from the corner of my mouth from apparently drooling in my splendid slumber, my pajama's were a size too big and I had sheet wrinkles up the whole left side of my face. I was anything but attractive, let me tell you. I frightened myself when I passed the mirror, but I oddly felt rather beautiful inside. The kids were sleeping soundly; I could smell fresh coffee and hear the soft tones of laughter as Vince visited with his brother on the phone as he does most Saturday mornings. After a brief face rinse, I quickly and very quietly went downstairs anxious to have a little me time over a cup of coffee and was stopped in my tracks when I realized Vince's brother was not on the phone but sitting at our dining room table! In a panic, I just flashed Vince a look... you know... THE LOOK... silently pleading with my husband to justify not telepathically knowing I was up and telling me we had company! How dare he be so inconsiderate! I caught myself just in time and greeted my brother in law with a "Good morning!" and excused myself to go tidy up a bit for our company.
While upstairs gathering proper clothes, I was grumbling to myself, "So much for a relaxing morning, and so much for ME time!" I caught a glimpse of myself in the same pajamas, and same sheet wrinkles only to find, I didn't feel beautiful inside anymore. Nothing on the outside had changed, but boy, how drastically the inside had changed!
At that very moment, it dawned on me that I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. My brother-in-law had seen me in this 'just woke up' status before. Why on earth was I so bothered by it on this morning? Did I detect a strained look on our brother's face? Vince... what was my husbands expression really about? I thought it was irritation with my abruptness, but was it even directed toward me, or was it an expression of worry for his brother? Saying a prayer of forgiveness, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail and headed downstairs in my too big pajamas to find that indeed, our brother was facing a burden that had him turned upside down with worry.
In some instances, it's real easy to look back, but truthfully, we don't always have that luxury. When Faith was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia at age 5, I began to flip back through the last 5 years and ask myself. Does she know? Does she know how much I love her? Does she know that at any one of those moments that she was in trouble for something that I would have died for her just as quickly as disciplining her? What about the times she wanted to show me a picture and I didn't have the time because I was on an 'important phone call' that really wasn't that important, or when I simply was just done being a mom for the day? Suddenly, simply not being a mom for the day was looking me straight in the eye. I prayed frantically "Please, God! I am so sorry for all those moments that I didn't hold onto, cherish and celebrate this beautiful child. I'm sorry for not seeing this little girl as fragile in time, something that could up and disappear in a blink. Please, God! Don't take her from me! Please!" I was haunted by all those moments that I could have given but didn't. Guilt raced through my veins and I saw failure after failure within minutes of hearing those words, "She has cancer."
Thankfully, God saw beyond my pain and fear and assured me, there was peace in this journey no matter the outcome, and I was going to start feeling it immediately. Of course, God was right. I have never experienced such spiritual growth as in that tragedy. It forced me to see the blessings, I was just too busy to see alone.
I'm not saying, lets all run around and live like we're dying or to live in fear of saying and doing the wrong thing, because THIS could be THE DAY! But... what if?... What if we consciously made the decision to live like we were... hold on to your seats... living? Yes, LIVING! Why can't we embrace life as if it was something worth being embraced? Capture it! Savor it! LIVE it! Does this mean walk around with a 'perma-grin'? Uh, no. Life can be pain and sadness at times too, but it's about the growth in those times. I'm talking about those still moments, when you aren't really excited about life, but you're not sure you are ready for it to end either. I'm talking about those moments when you can literally decide... is this going to be a good moment, or a bad moment? God can lead you through even these moments. I promise, you are not alone in this.
Let's take a peek at that God say about these moments?...
I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16 NKJV
A Better Morning...
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
Psalm 139:9-10What Your Morning Could Look Like...
13 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Rise early in the morning and stand before Pharaoh, and say to him, ‘Thus says the LORD God of the Hebrews: “Let My people go, that they may serve Me, 14 for at this time I will send all My plagues to your very heart, and on your servants and on your people, that you may know that there is none like Me in all the earth. Exodus 9:13-14
So, your day started out rotten... big deal! Have a great one anyway!
To Better Days,
Angie
Have a few more moments? Read this!...
Psalm 139 Short but powerful, this chapter is better than a complete breakfast in the morning... it will leave you full and satisfied for the whole day! (Provided below in NKJV if you don't have your bible handy)
Psalm 139
For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;[b]
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.[c]
21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
24 And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
angie....this is soooo good!! girl, you can write. i am loving getting to know you...and i have been thinking that we should have some girl time sometime soon. ?? what do you think? :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Becky! I feel the same way. I feel really blessed to have crossed life paths with you :) ... Girl time sounds fantastic! =D
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